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Motherhood. It is a very intriguing thing. We carry our child for 9 months and destroy our bodies in the process. We go through sleepless nights and lose a little bit of our sanity. If that isn’t enough, we take a look around and often find that our current friends are in different places in their lives. I am over here enjoying my precious son, while others are finishing their master’s degree. Then, there are those who are still drinking like a fish. Where does that leave me? Looking for mom friends.
First off, I wish that having a child did not drive a wedge in between friendships. Of course, there are always some people out there that are in your lives no matter what. I find it fantastic when that happens but, let’s be honest, sometimes you need somebody in the same stage of life as you.
I recently moved from the West Coast to the East Coast; I have the Navy to thank for that one. I find myself in a new town, not working, and at a loss of how to find friends. The best idea I could come up with was going to the park. I would love to pretend that I go to the park for my son. I put his little hat on for sun protection and play for as long as our hearts content solely for him but, that would be a lie.
Now, do not get me wrong, I love taking my son to the park. I enjoy teaching him how to play but, in reality, I am on a stakeout. I sit at our apartment’s playground and pray another mom comes along. I have gotten to the point where I feel like a mom stalker. In case you were wondering, I still have had no luck at the park.
I have gotten to the point where I got to coffee socials in hopes of meeting somebody that I will connect with. This is completely outside of my comfort zone but, a girl has to do what a girl’s gotta do. Surprisingly, I have thoroughly enjoyed it and suggest that some of you give it a chance as well.
Now, for those of you that think women that are desperate to get married are the most desperate women out there, I am sad to inform you, that you are wrong. Venture out to a military wives Facebook page and you will see countless posts of women stating that they are new to the area, have kid(s), and need friends. I used to think these posts were pathetic but now, I am like, “Hey girl, me too!” If we are honest, being a mom is hard and sometimes all we want is to be able to interact with somebody besides a baby.
If meeting a fellow mom was not already hard enough, you have to go through an entire series of things to find out if they can be your friend. First off, do you like them? Do you have things in common? Do your children get along? Are you guys just meeting for the sake of your children or is this actually a developing friendship? Then, you think to yourself, is it appropriate to ask for their number? I would think that would be enough to deal with but wait, there’s more because if all of that goes well, you hope and pray the two of you can be friends. Can you be friends without your children around? The real test of time is to go out on a kid-free to date to see, is this my new best friend? I am here to inform you that “mom dating” is the hardest level of dating. After all, we need somebody to talk to besides our kids. Hang in there, fellow mamas. Eventually, you will find the mom friend that you have been dreaming of.