I know that I now live thousands of miles away from most you but, rest assure “Classic Caitlin” moments are still a frequent event. Here are a few recent ones:
- When we lived in Washington, we had a keypad for our door to the house and a push to start car. I loved this combination because I never had to worry about losing my keys. I simply left them in my purse. I still have my push to start car but, our apartment is lacking in the keypad department. The first day we moved in my husband informed me that my keys were in the door THREE different times within four hours. Also, watching me get out of the house has become even more entertaining because not only am I juggling our son and all of our stuff but, I have to deal with locking the door as well. It has been an adjustment getting used to having keys again but, I think I am starting to get the hang of it again.
- Our apartment door is fairly heavy and slams shut if it is left open. When we moved in, we had to get into the habit of making sure it did not slam shut because of how much noise the door makes. The other day, I had made up with the stairs with my son and our stuff. I did not have time to properly prevent the door from shutting but, my toe did. The heavy door somehow managed to sweep across my big toe. I quickly put my son down, sit down, hold my foot, and start deep breathing. I was trying to not freak out my son but, he was worried. After all, mommy does not normally sit down next to the door and start deep breathing. Honestly, I have no clue how my toe even managed to fit under the door. I was worried for a few minutes that my toe was broken. Thankfully, it was simply sore for the next week.
- The running joke is that my house only gets cleaned when I drop something and it makes a huge mess. My kitchen is fairly clean due to this method. I was making cornbread and went to get the second egg out of the egg carton. The egg felt a little snug but, I did not think anything of it. I grabbed the egg and lifted my hand like I normally do except, this time the egg exploded. Egg yolk flew across the kitchen and egg shells were around the carton. Surprisingly, the bottom of the egg was perfectly in tack. I think it is safe to say that the egg was jammed into the carton.
- We were at a cookout with brats and hamburgers at a friend’s house. The condiments had all been brought outside. I am always happy when people have ketchup because I do not eat burgers without it. I went to open the lid of the ketchup and the next thing I know, the ketchup exploded all over me. The astonishing thing was I had not squeezed the container at all.
- We have door stoppers in the hinges. These things are wonderful and protect my walls from my child but, they can be evil. They keep the door fairly far out from the wall. That sounds great in theory but, these things have it out for me. I cannot tell you the number of times that I have run into a doorknob with my hip. I think the shock of running into a doorknob is what causes the majority of the pain.
- I recently tried to brown ground beef. I could not figure out why it was not turning brown at all. I waited for about ten minutes and decided to turn up the heat. At that point I discovered that I had the wrong burner on. Although I stood there waiting for something that was not going to happen, the other burner that was on burned off the orange glaze I had spilled on the week before.
- I was cooking taquitos in the oven. I had been dealing with our son. I was feeding him and kept thinking about my taquitos. Finally, I got up wondering why the 13 minutes seemed to be taking so long. I found out that I never pressed the start button the timer. Boy, were my taquitos extremely brown on the ends.
It never fails that I am the one to do the “wow, that takes talent” things. I may not live near everybody anymore but, I certainly still am my still klutzy self.