When 2 becomes 3

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I will admit that having the opportunity to add a child to your family is an exciting thing. It is a precious thing that not everybody gets to experience. Although having a healthy baby is pure bliss, things are chaotic when you bring a newborn home. My husband and I severely lacked sleep for a bit. Our son would cry for 4 hours straight in the middle the night. Thankfully, we were able to tag team when needed. Sometimes the best part of the day for me, was when my husband came home from work. I could go and shower. Our lives revolved around this little human being but, I would not give up having our son for anything. As time went by, numbers became jumbled and we forget how a family of 2 became a family of 3.

 

I feel like as a Mom I focus on everybody individually. I make sure that I am taking care of myself. After all, how will I be beneficial to my son if I am not well? Then, I make sure my husband has what he needs for work. We are not only living in a new state but, our world has been turned upside down with my husband’s new work schedule. My husband is not deployed but, 3-day duty section is hard. My husband’s galley is down at work which means all of his meals have to be packed. I never imagined myself being a ‘good’ housewife. I swore I would never make my husband’s lunches, yet here I am, making my husband’s meals. My husband does not ask me to. Frankly, if he did, I would probably not make his lunch at all. I do it because I love him and it makes both of our lives a little bit easier. Let’s not forget that I attempt to keep the house somewhat presentable.

 

Alas, my son. I am literally sculpting the mind of a little one. I am helping determine how his brain will work for the rest of his life. Scientifically speaking, the first few years of his life are the most important when it comes to brain development. I make sure that we read plenty of books, go to the park, socialize with other babies, comfort him when needed, I encourage good behavior, and I help him progress to the next stage of learning. There are so many things that parents do for their little ones because we want to give them the best chance in life. Thankfully, I am not a single parent. My husband helps teach my son things that I am not very good at teaching. I always make sure my son is greeted by his Dad, usually before me. I love watching them as our son runs away from him to play his version of tag. As his parents, we do everything we can to prepare him for his current stage of life. It is easy to see that I put a lot of energy into people individually but, once again, what happens to 2?

 

A note from my husband
My husband and I were together before we had our son. We fell in love, got married, bought a house, and had a baby. Our son is here today because we love each other. Although all of this happened before our son, our son became our priority. We forgot to take time to continue to take care of our relationship.

 

In my previous post, Motherhood Fears, I realized my husband and I had not been on a date since our son was born. Now, that is a long time. I think when your spouse is gone frequently due to their job, it is easy to put your relationship on the back burner. After all, I want my husband to be able to be there for as many moments as he can for our son. However, that right there is when we forget how 2 became 3.

 

After realizing this, I knew something had to change. I needed to put our relationship first. In the end, that is not only healthy for us but, healthy for our son to see a healthy marriage.

 

My husband still raves about the time we saw Deadpool in a 21 and over theater showing. He loved it. I took it upon myself to plan a date. I planned for us to go see Deadpool 2, it was just as good as the first one. Spoiler alert, it is. Thankfully, our friends watched our son. This helped me not worry about our son as much.

 

 

Although it felt weird being without our son, I quickly realized how important spending time without him was. It reminded me what it was like to be on a date. I felt butterflies and excitement all over again. There was a sense of calm that we were out, just the 2 of us.

 

I encourage all parents to make your relationship a priority. Take the time to think about the last time you have been on a date. If it has been a while, make time for each other. We can still love our child(ren) and put our relationship first. In fact, having a relationship that continues to grow, is healthy for our child(ren) to see. I promise that acting like your relationship is new is important. Put as much effort into your relationship as you did in the beginning. Take the time and enjoy your child free time. Your relationship deserves it. After all, 2 came before 3.

Side note: If you are family and are reading this, my husband and I are fine. I just feel like this is an important topic. So, please don’t ask us if we are. Thanks!