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Sometimes I do not even realize that is what is happening. Instead, I am slowly beginning to not want to do things. My house begins to become cluttered. I start to not care. I start verbally attacking those that I love. I start building all of these defenses in my head for ‘what if this happens.’
I sit there and replay all of these scenarios that could happen. I know that it sounds silly but, I can be mad at somebody over something that never happened. I become obsessed with this imaginary scenario. After all, I have played it out in my head at least 30 times.
There are days where I do not want to do anything, therefore, I don’t. The ironic thing is that then, I am filled with guilt over not doing what I needed to do. I will sit there and worry about a situation with another person. In my mind, this minor thing has been built up into a major issue. Typically, I am shocked to find out that the other person was not affected at all.
Does this sound familiar? Do you notice these things in those that you love? This is Depression and Anxiety. I write this post not for you to pity me but, as to let others know that I have been where you are right now. I understand the vicious cycle. I understand how easy it is to smile through it but, wish that somebody would realize something is actually off with you.
Depression and anxiety is something that I have struggled with most of my life. I have learned that the only way to live happily is to take care of yourself. I am not ashamed that I have a self-care checklist on my fridge. If you struggle with Depression and anxiety, I encourage you to not ignore it but, to find coping mechanisms instead.
Whenever I was going through my hardest of times, I downloaded a deep breathing technique soundtrack. I would play it whenever I was having a panic attack. I would follow along until I felt better. Did you know that deep breathing is scientifically proven to reduce anxiety?
In hopes of helping somebody else out, here is a list of some of my coping mechanisms:
- listen to music
- get some fresh air
- go for a walk
- talk to somebody
- do deep breathing exercises
In time, I have learned how important it is to take care of myself. I have mentored people privately in getting through rough patches. If you are reading this, I want you to know, you are not alone. I hope that you find some of my coping mechanisms beneficial. Please remember to reach out to other people and learn what helps you.
Side note: this is not a self-pity post but, an awareness post.